A father comes into the bathroom and sees his thirteen year old son getting ready for school. The father proceeds to grab his toothbrush, apply toothpaste and then begins to brush his son’s teeth. The boy is an outstanding student and does well in sports. What is wrong with this picture?

Paternalism can be defined as doing things for people or people groups that they can do themselves. Paternalism unfortunately is what can characterize much of what we do as local churches and agencies not only here in America but also when it comes to mission work overseas. While we may have good intentions in helping those in need, we are actually putting ourselves in a position of superiority and stifling the God-given potential of individuals.

How can your local church begin to move from a position of doing everything for someone to coming alongside them?

Solid Relationships

Trust is number one, in seeing a person, group or community develop into vibrancy and shine as God intended it.  It is very helpful that local churches and individual Christians foster a relationship in which advice is synergistically shared, thoughtful critiques can be received and plans forward can be developed together. This may involve a simple lunch, sitting at the doorstep or simply listening. As we continue to develop these relationships, walls will begin to erode and God will use both groups for his glory.

Ask Questions

We would be utterly surprised to see the amount and depth of resources that God has present in the lives of people. Too often we perceive that in lower income communities or that a person in poverty has no type of resources. If we carefully and respectfully ask questions, we would begin to see that much of what is needed is already present.

 What are the material resources already present?

Does the group or person already possess a certain amount of knowledge which can be worked with?

If you intend to do some type of clean-up or beautification of an area, who is present that is ready to work alongside your group?

Finally, is this person a natural leader? Are there leaders present in the community?

 When you pursue these questions, you will begin to see that service does not have to be done to a person or community but with them. The ultimate goal is that we as Christians do create a community or person that has a welfare mentality but a man, woman or community that is seeking to use their God given gifts to bring glory to God and contribute to their community.